Saturday, 22 March 2008

• I went out to dinner with my cousin and his friend tonight. My cousin brought up faith. It really seems to be on his mind lately.

  Ryan brought up some various questions about Christianity, which I tried my best to answer. His friend did as well (he's Roman Catholic...and gay....thus, a fairly liberal Catholic).

  Things were going along okay in the conversation, but then he brought up "The Question": "Do you really think that people who don't believe in Jesus will go to hell?"

  Oh, my past Bible college self would have been revolted by my reticence to share the Evangelical party line about that issue(and, if I tell this story to some of my friends, they will breathe fire at me). But I bumbled through it and said "Well, I, uh...I dunno....I'm still trying to figure this stuff out for myself."

  Because, c'mon, do I really believe that almost anyone deserves an eternity of punishment for their wrongdoings? I can see how it would make sense to punish people for a time and then maybe obliterate them out of any sort of consciousness; they wouldn't be in Heaven, but at least they wouldn't be in hell. But the concept of eternal punishment for the non-Christian people I know just seems patently absurd to me. Do I really believe this stuff? Can I?

  When I break it down like that, it all seems foolish. Am I creating/sustaining a false belief system in order to quell my existential and emotional insecurities? I mean, our fallible earth-bound selves, created without omniscience, expected to know *for sure* that if they don't make X choice, they will be condemned to eternal punishment. And of course X choice (Christianity) is just one among many religious choices. Earnest people seek God through other avenues; it's not like all non-believers have just blown off the idea of God all together. It's not like they don't care. It's not like there's a burning bush in their front yard, adjuring them to take the right path, and they willfully ignore it.

   

  I need to figure this stuff out. Because it seriously affects my goals in life and the way I live my life. Aigh.  

   

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